I just wrote the previous two posts from a public computer next to the PICU family lounge. While I was deciding what to write and was beginning to fall into self-pity for how tired and overwhelmed and lonely I was, I began to eavesdrop on the family in the waiting room. (Yes, I know it's a bad habit, but they WERE talking rather loud and it WAS a public room...)
We were in the PICU long enough that we saw a lot of stressed, scared, and grieving families pass through. We met some of them and hopefully encouraged some too.
There was a large family in the waiting room tonight - sisters, grandparents, cousins. Their little girl, ten months old, had a complicated medical history starting in the NICU, had a trach, and was dying. It sounded familiar. But unlike the other families we've observed, they were OK. They were concerned and seemed to fully understand the situation, but the family had a peace. Contentment is a rare quality to see in a family in the PICU.
Then I heard them pray with some friends who were about to leave, and my eyes filled with tears to hear the same prayers that have been prayed for Oliver by so many friends be prayed for this little girl by her friends.
I waited until the friends left then I couldn't stand it any longer so I stuck my head in the room and they let me be part of their family for a few minutes before I returned upstairs to Oliver's room.
My God knew I needed both some encouragement and a kick in the pants to get out of my self-pity. Their little girl probably won't be leaving the hospital this time. They've done their best to help her live well, but their hope is in Christ and his promises.
It was funny hearing them relate the same experience we've had - the doctors commenting on how well they are handling the situation and how "healthy" they are in their approach to their child's life. They reply the same way we do - it's not us, we'd be a mess, God has been sustaining us and giving us strength.
It was such a blessing to me to to have even a few minutes with another family who's faced with such similar, terrible, mind-boggling decisions and who also share the same sure, solid foundation.
I chose to use the computers by the PICU because I was lonely and thought there was an ever so slight chance I'd see a familiar PICU staff member walk by to chat with. Praise God, he surpassed my hope and gave me a whole family instead.
We were in the PICU long enough that we saw a lot of stressed, scared, and grieving families pass through. We met some of them and hopefully encouraged some too.
There was a large family in the waiting room tonight - sisters, grandparents, cousins. Their little girl, ten months old, had a complicated medical history starting in the NICU, had a trach, and was dying. It sounded familiar. But unlike the other families we've observed, they were OK. They were concerned and seemed to fully understand the situation, but the family had a peace. Contentment is a rare quality to see in a family in the PICU.
Then I heard them pray with some friends who were about to leave, and my eyes filled with tears to hear the same prayers that have been prayed for Oliver by so many friends be prayed for this little girl by her friends.
I waited until the friends left then I couldn't stand it any longer so I stuck my head in the room and they let me be part of their family for a few minutes before I returned upstairs to Oliver's room.
My God knew I needed both some encouragement and a kick in the pants to get out of my self-pity. Their little girl probably won't be leaving the hospital this time. They've done their best to help her live well, but their hope is in Christ and his promises.
It was funny hearing them relate the same experience we've had - the doctors commenting on how well they are handling the situation and how "healthy" they are in their approach to their child's life. They reply the same way we do - it's not us, we'd be a mess, God has been sustaining us and giving us strength.
It was such a blessing to me to to have even a few minutes with another family who's faced with such similar, terrible, mind-boggling decisions and who also share the same sure, solid foundation.
I chose to use the computers by the PICU because I was lonely and thought there was an ever so slight chance I'd see a familiar PICU staff member walk by to chat with. Praise God, he surpassed my hope and gave me a whole family instead.
Wow...praying for your family AND the family you met. So hard.
ReplyDeleteThankful God sent you comfort in your loneliness. I have always loved the Latin roots of the word comfort-- "with/together strength." It suggests what you have found as truth. Comfort is not something soft and cushy; rather, it is a firm upholding-- a strength that is given when one walks with another.
ReplyDeleteI pray God gives you and Joel much comfort this week and in the days ahead, and that he sends many of His own to walk with you and lend strength.
Much love and daily prayers.
Walking with you in spirit,
Abigail