Chesterton on love

(I don't plan on posting reflections like this often, but some have been asking how I am doing through "all this," and this is how I was "doing" and what I was thinking today as my mother left after helping us for three weeks and my girls were being cared for by a dear friend so I could see Oliver and rest.)

I usually ignore the little inspirational quotes that are scattered throughout my day planner in perfect elegant script and pastel ink.  My life usually feels less than perfect or elegant and the "inspirational" quotes, even the good ones, rarely inspire me for more than a few moments before the next chore listed on the page below lurches me back into this earthly reality where I struggle to see grace through my dimmed glassed vision as I try to rest as I heal from surgery and plan when to visit my baby and when to fold laundry. 

But the quote for June, my birthday month, has stuck with me all day like the nagging, fluorescent hospital visitor badge on my sweater lapel.  This morning at my doctor's office as I was flipping weeks of time by with the flip of a finger to schedule the last follow-up visit with my OB I was surprised to find myself choked with words and truth:

"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"

  -- Gilbert Keith Chesterton

I've known for a while that, considering Oliver's physical abnormalities, he could be given to us for only a short while.  We are so thankful that now, so far, we have reason to have great hope of him being with us for a good long time.  But knowing the uncertainty of his condition has definitely caused me to focus on every moment I have with him.  I had a delightful few hours with him this morning, enjoying his new, squinty eyes and small newborn cries.

But what about the other ones I love?  The dear man of my heart, my little fairy princess, my little fireball, my long-loving parents, my beautiful and endearing sister?  Even the silly, little furry animals that purr on my pillow.  They could be lost to me at any time too.  Is there really little difference between them and my little one in the NICU?  I want, no, rather need to cherish the days I am given with each of them.  I wasn't overcome with grief or regret for how I may have or still will squander my precious time (though I know I always should try to do better!), but it mostly reminded me deeply of what great blessings I've been given.  I agree with Chesterton that keeping an eternal perspective of the temporality of this life will drive me to choose to love more intentionally.   

I hope that this might be one of those "inspirational quotes" that sticks with me and resurfaces into my mind and heart as I daily choose how to fill up my time with my day planner and strive to be intentional about what to focus on each moment. 

God tells us our story one day at a time, and shows us his gifts one day at a time, and asks me to trust him for all the days ahead. 

Oliver has taught us so many things in the last few months, and I don't think he's done teaching us yet.  And thank you to G. K. Chesterton and Day Runner Poetica Personal Organizer.