I spent a lot of time talking to the girls this year about why we choose not to celebrate our culture's typical Halloween. They were incredibly intrigued with all the decorations and costumes, and eventually all the candy being marketed on every aisle. They dress up so often anyway, and are certainly not deprived of treats, so they understood that they were not missing out on those aspects. The big reason that we talked about is that, to us, it does not treat death appropriately. This idea came up a lot because for some reason the decorations in the grocery store and around town seemed especially focused on death and gore.
Elsa wanted to draw a picture of each person we were remembering, and she picked a flower especially for each one from our garden. We remembered Oliver:
My grandfather Myron, who died a week before Oliver,
Krupa, a little girl in India that I knew and loved who died about a month before Oliver:
and Mister Rogers, who did not die this year, but Elsa wanted to remember him too:
She set it all up - and even though she looks somber in these pictures she really enjoyed the whole evening - she was just concentrating!
We talked about what we remembered about and learned from each one. We sang "For All the Saints" with a congregation on YouTube (during which Elsa danced and joined in for the "Allelulia"s). We watched an episode of Mister Rogers. We offered thanksgiving to God for those we miss and prayed the All Saints' Day collect from the Book of Common Prayer, and then ate apple pie (sorry, no photo of the pie, but it was yummy!).
Death has been a frequent topic for us this year, so it was natural to continue our conversations about what death means, how we feel about it, and how we remember those who have died. On one hand, as Christians, we can laugh at "death" because it has no hold on us. On the other hand, life and death are sacred and we believe they should be respected and honored.
That led us to talking about All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day - Halloween comes from "All Hallows' Eve;" the eve of "All Hallows' Day," or All Saints' Day. November 1 and 2 are the days on which the western church remembers those who have died in the faith. My prayer book of the Daily Offices reminded me earlier this week that "although popular thinking tends to honor only the canonized saints, scripture names all Christians as 'Saints'," so I was already reflecting upon that when Elsa asked me if we could celebrate All Saints' Day. I remember one of the churches I attended in the past lighting candles and remembering all those in the congregation and their relatives who had died that year, but beyond that I had no other framework on which to base a celebration, so we made one up!
We decided to have candles, a picture of each person we were remembering and thanking God for, flowers, prayer, singing, and apple pie (Elsa's request)!
Elsa wanted to draw a picture of each person we were remembering, and she picked a flower especially for each one from our garden. We remembered Oliver:
My grandfather Myron, who died a week before Oliver,
Krupa, a little girl in India that I knew and loved who died about a month before Oliver:
and Mister Rogers, who did not die this year, but Elsa wanted to remember him too:
She set it all up - and even though she looks somber in these pictures she really enjoyed the whole evening - she was just concentrating!
We talked about what we remembered about and learned from each one. We sang "For All the Saints" with a congregation on YouTube (during which Elsa danced and joined in for the "Allelulia"s). We watched an episode of Mister Rogers. We offered thanksgiving to God for those we miss and prayed the All Saints' Day collect from the Book of Common Prayer, and then ate apple pie (sorry, no photo of the pie, but it was yummy!).
I cried some when we prayed and sang, and thanked God for a new family tradition, especially one developed by my five year old!
