Oliver's best therapist

(This post somehow got lost and not published on time - better late than never!)
(From October, 2012)

I'm really not a "baby person."  I love my children, and love doing things with them, but playing with babies is just not something I'm natural at, so spending extra intentional time with Oliver to help with his development is a challenge for me.  Elsa, however, is wonderful at it.  I've talked to her and shown her how to show him things, help him hold toys, and talk to him about the toys or whatever.  I often ask her to sit with him and play by him, but every few days I find her camped out next to him all on her own, "reading" to him or showing him whatever she has been playing with. 

She is such a blessing and an encouragement to me. 

Please "sign" Oliver's Memory Book

Instead of a traditional guest book at the memorial service I decided to do a "memory book" with photos for our guests to sign around.  There are empty pages at the front for me to add things like his birth certificate and footprints, etc.; it's his "baby book."  I have a most fabulous artist friend who flew across the country (or countries rather; she's from Canada, yea for Magdolene!) and she helped me design the cover.  She and Joel's sister, Emily, stayed up with me into the late night putting the pages together.  It was such a good way for me to start this new season of grief/joy, and it was so wonderful to get to spend so much time with two dear friends.

At the service we asked for our guests to write positive, encouraging note in Oliver's book.  I will also be printing out many of the enouraging emails, facebook posts, and comments we've recieved and will paste them in the pages along side the hand-written notes.  I will be including many of the cards that have been sent to us also. 

We know that Oliver's life and our journey have reached to many people (including many strangers to us!), so if anyone who would like to "sign" Oliver's memory book with a particular note please send us a message by signing his online obituary, by leaving a comment on this post, or by emailing us directly.  I cannot describe how encouraged and blessed we are to read your supportive notes and comments about how our son has touched your life.  Thank you.

Elsa started making her own memory book for Oliver.  Hers has a lot of blank pages at the back for her to keep adding pictures, drawings, thoughts, or whatever she wants as she gets older.  We hope it will help her continue to process as she matures, and it will also help us to know when she is thinking about Oliver again when she reaches for her book.  We also have a book started for Nora.

Here is Elsa showing her book to Grandpa Darrell Dunham:

Oliver's Memorial Celebration

Here are a few photos from the service.  They are included in the slideshow that accompanies the audio recording of the service, but I wanted to post a few of them outright also. 

Audio from Oliver's Memorial Service

Here is the audio recording from Oliver's memorial service, set to a slideshow of photos from before the service, the reception, and of Oliver.   You will need to adjust the volume throughout the service because the different microphones recorded at different volumes, and the speaking is much softer than the music. 

If you want to skip to different parts of the service here at some of the times:
Prelude ends at 7:30
Joel sings at 14:20
Sonya reads at 18:30
Joel speaks at 27:40
and the message is at 43:44


Here is the program:

Program for Oliver's Memorial Celebration

Come join us to celebrate Oliver's life

Joel sent out the email today:

We will celebrate Oliver Michael Dunham's life at a memorial service on Friday April 5th at 3 p.m. at Westminster Presbyterian Church, 2000 Oakwood Dr Medford, OR 97504. We know that Oliver touched many people beyond our personal circle of acquaintances. If you have friends or family who prayed for Oliver or were touched by his life, you are welcome to forward this message and invite them also to the service. 

In lieu of flowers, make a donation online to Margham, Inc. which is a Christian non-profit organization in India started by Oliver's grandfather Darrell Dunham.

www.margham.org

However, if you still really desire to send flowers, send them to the above church address during office hours (9 a.m. - 12 p.m. and 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.) before the service.

Thank you for all your prayers.

Joel & Sonya Dunham

Peace from God

Oliver's name fits him so well.  Peace, who is of God.  Oliver Michael died peacefully this morning, and is basking in the perfect lovelight of his Creator. 

We will hold his body for a little longer, and then plan to go worship the King with our church family this morning.  We have grey skies and rain but the birds are singing in the flowering trees.

"...David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” And they said, “He is dead.” So David arose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he came into the house of the LORD and worshiped... 'Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.'”  2 Samuel 12:19-23

Oh Lord we thank you and praise you for the gift of our son.  Blessed be the Name of the Lord.  Please, God, keep us in your hand and help teach our aching, grieving hearts to sing. 

Praise be to God, my baby can smile now.